In the Family of Aspergers & Labels: Good?

Did you ever notice subtle, yet distinguishable differences between you and others? Did you ever wonder why people react to you differently than others, although you look just like everyone else? Have you ever felt lost in a vast sea, taken up on a wave of your own individuality?

I began to see differences in my oldest son early on, but I dismissed them as something of his own individuality. I even began to love his idiosyncracies. However, I knew that he was different. Just as I was different as a child.

Last week, we saw a specialist to find out exactly what the professional world of psychology and labeling defined my son's differences. The label? Aspergers Syndrome. Or what some call high-functioning autism. It is among the autistic spectrum disorders. We have begun the process of proper analyzing, assessing, testing, affirming and action.

Yes, it is a label. I was not surprised by the label. In fact, I expected it. (I actually was hoping that he would not get misdiagnosed with ADD or ADHD and get thrust into meds and programs that would never work for him.)

How would I know about my son's condition? Because he acts a lot like me. His tantrums are a lot like mine. His frustrations, his interests, his view on life are very similar to mine. When I was his age, I was very apprehensive about giving apologies as I felt more sorry about those I gave them to, than I was sorry about what I had done. I want to be accepted by my peers, but feel strangely awkward in their presence. I see things differently, and react to things differently. I hear things that others don't and I feel things that others don't sense. There are things that people say and do that would affect others socially or mentally that don't phase me, and things that don't affect others that greatly affect me.

Labels are only good when there are ways, processes and activities within such a labeling to affect a positive outcome for the individual and all who are affected. The unfortunate part of labeling is that as a society we try to get the labeled to fit into society, instead of working with the label and its positive offerings.

I believe, in the purest hollow of my heart, that every person existing has a positive energy and positive offering to give to the world. Some will find that positive energy and bestow it to the world unhindered, others will not see that positive energy and instead offer the world negative energy, and then there are some who see that positive energy and watch it be socially hindered and sapped away by the negative energy, intentionally or unintended by others.

My experience with Aspergers is not as much a label, inasmuchas it is a different perspective. It is that POV (point of view) that is not readily accepted by societal and cultural norms. The label is only there to help the "normal" people to define what they see as an obscurity in someone. What is obscure in the norm, is clear in someone with aspergers. What is obscure in someone with aspergers, is clear in the norm. Sure, it's not absolute, as no one or two can together see all answers to life (unless two or more are gathered in God's name, well that's a different story there, too).

Picture it as a circular peg trying to fit into a square hole. There are the corners in the square where that circle will not fill into, and areas where the circle go over the bounds of the square. In a perfect world, we would sense that we would lose so much by changing the circle, and reconfigure our societal and educational boundaries so that all the positive energy of the circle would be fully actualized.

We are not in a perfect world. Society as we know it, presses all into the meatgrinder of life, regardless of the cut of meat, and strives to make all into nice, uniform sausages. In effect society is willing to convert the circle into a square so it will fit nicely into the square hole.

A good butcher would be appalled to see a good piece of sirloin ground into a hotdog. Good educators and parents, also should be appalled to see their good child being mangled with meds and ineffective learning techniques aimed to restrict the student's creative and obscure point of view and mould him into the "perfect" student.

In the process of labeling, it is vital to help normal people to see and take positive advantage of the special POV and learning skills that those with Aspergers exhibit. It takes teachers with a teaching style that parallels the aspergers' learning style to truly gain the most out of this educational experience.

It takes a teacher that can change the educational square into the circle, and a student that can understand his/her circular nature and learn to literally work around the societal and cultural square that challenges them. It also takes a parent that can see both the square and the circle to coach their child to understand that both are vital, and necessary, and that both need to do their part to work together in harmony.

The challenge is made for us. It is in our hands to see and offer the positive energies in ourselves, to show the positive in others, and to provide guidance to those seeking the positive in themselves. I am positive of this.

I think...