Saturday, March 24, 2007

Alcohol Trumps Ecstasy and Other News

Yes, I know, I know. There are more pressing issues out there than some British report on recreational drugs. Like the eight fired US Attorneys (so do they have to relinguish their monkey status, as well?), and John Edwards' wife's cancer has returned (note to Edwards' family: life is short, enjoy it now!), and the tainted pet food (aw rats, I can't believe it's poisoned).

However, in my unconscious ploy to uncover news stories that affect the most people, I think this one takes the keg, er cake. Let's get a show of hands here... how many of you have indulged in alcohol in the past month? The past week? The past day? Okay. You get the point. Most people do enjoy alcohol once in a while.

What if I said that alcohol is more harmful than LSD? Worse than Ecstasy? More horrible than marijuanna? Yup. And so is tobacco. At least according to some British scientists hoping to better classify these recreational drugs according to the harm they cause.

This is just a bit disappointing for me. (Reflects a moment...starts sobbing...) This is impossible. Why would alcohol and tobacco be legal if our government really wants to protect us from such evils? Why didn't they rate them with the other illicit drugs during the "Just Say No" campaign when I was in high school?

Alcohol is bad... no it can't be all that bad. Those experts also say wine and beer are good for my heart. Damn! What's it going to be?? I mean, we can't go around touting everything is harmful, can we?

And what's next? Fast food? Heck, let's just rank legal pharmaceuticals, including vaccines, and see how they fair against the bad boys of the drug world--who's more harmful now? Yeah, I can see it now: Heroine is for wimps, Asprin will eat your insides alive, until you're dead.

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