Sunday, November 25, 2007

Caucus Turkey

I was working last Wednesday at the radio station when I was supposed to have the day off and thusly, I was in my more casual attire. Yeah, you know, the Wednesday before Turkey Day, aka Thanksgiving. As I diligently worked to get done to be home with my family, I looked out my office window to see the suit coat of some guy that looked to be some presidential hopeful. I could not quite make out the man's face through the glare of the glass and wondered who would possibly humble themselves to stump at a small radio station. I thought, could it be Mike Huckabee, as I had mentioned his like-ability on the air a few times? Or, be still my beating humor, Stephen Colbert? I stood up at my desk to see who it was and if it were worth my "vacation" time to actually get up and speak with this suited man.

Oh, my dear Tsar! He looked like Ukrainian leader Viktor Yushchenko as he was poisoned! This beckoned my curiousity beyond my better judgment. So, I walked out of my office to get a better look, and, of course, he came up to me and introduced himself. I'm sure he said his name, but "just another no-name cheap presidential wishful thinker" came out. I thought how sad that he could not get up the energy to shave before stumping at my station. Then, his trophy wife came out of the restroom, and I thought, huh, he really thinks that if he can lay a good-looking wife, then he can run for president?! Oh, yeah, Kucinich.

The presidential hopeful gave me his brochure that pretty much said nothing about him. It had his name, which I actually caught for the first time as Cap Wingdig, or something like that. He even had a website at He was running under the Republican Party stage (just be careful of the horses' hooves, Cap). He asked if I'd be interested in doing an interview with him. No, on my vacation time, no you are not worth it, I thought. Now, if you were Mike or Stephen, damn, I'd drop everything.

As he left with his trophy blonde, I returned to my office, doused my hands with hand sanitizer, and thought dreamily about Huckabee or Colbert walking through the radio station to stump me for the caucus. Damn, Huckabee, I'd convert to Republican if you did that!

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