Tuesday, January 30, 2007

Apocalypse Nears...

Current events dictate that the foreseen apocalypse is nearing, just read on...

The Police reunite for the Grammys... And they won't be pulling you over in your gramma's oldsmobile, either. Hopefully, a little bit of Synchronicity will be in order!

A Resurrected Castro Meets with Chavez... There's no other way this previously thought to be dead dictator could travel to Venezuela. And to meet with President Hugo Chavez. Obviously, to barter for the fountain of life. I think we all know the fountain of life is in Paraguay, right Jenna?

US Under Pressure to Stop Saying No... What these poor fleeing Iraqis don't realize is that the US spent most of the 1980s learning how to Just Say NO. The only Yes we know is the one who sang "Owner of a Lonely Heart."

Bush Accused of Distorting Evidence on Global Warming... Oh, c'mon! There are obviously much bigger fish to fry! Hmmm... maybe the bigger fish are too tainted.

Harry Potter Strips... Oh, dear! The world is coming to an end! Eeeeck! Wa..wa..wa...wait! Oh, my. Haaaary Paaahhhhhter! Oh, yeeees! The end times are near.

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