Colbert, That's French, Isn't It?! That's OK, Mr. Colbert, Here's a Golden Ruler!

Although not characteristic of Stephen Colbert's "professional newsiness", a nudge-nudge and a wink-wink might sums up his monologue at the White House Press Correspondents Dinner last Saturday night.

Mr. Colbert decisively marked the evening with way more inside humor and jabs than the large gathering of media, government leaders, and stars could possibly digest, especially the guest of honor, our president.

Playing as if he's in on the good-ole-boys club and up on their antics in the media, Colbert subtly and many times not so subtly discloses his perception of the media's coverage on important events, while maintaining his composed "newsiness" during the speech.

Maybe the reason why some didn't like his speech could be the same reason they now refer to freedom fries and freedom toast. There's just too much French in that guy's name. Toward the end of his speech, President Bush looked like he was about ready to export him back to France. Colbert better be carrying his passport next time he's close to the president, or might get a special trip out of the country. You know how the president feels about those darned immigrants!

On his truthiness, Colbert knows better than most real news outlets how to give his audience the truth, and he delivered in his usual fashion. Why are some people upset about this? Did you not know his style? Did you not watch his show?

Regardless of his neo-con leanings, Colbert stuck it to the man. Thank goodness he got some practice on Bill Kristol a couple days prior to his WHCD gig. He was ready to tackle the news that the media forgot to tackle. And tackle, he did.

By the way, what was with the lame Double-W skit? And last year's skit where the president was running around the room looking for WMDs while our troops in Iraq were dying? And those skits don't offend people? But Stephen Colbert's truthiness does offend? Why can't those people handle the truth?

Mr. Stephen Colbert, in recognition of your courage to fight for the truth, I bestow unto you the Golden Ruler Award. Just as those golden nuns from parochial school used rulers to maintain order and keep their students in line, this Golden Ruler exemplifies your accomplishments to keep truth in line. Use this Golden Ruler to continue to keep truth and justice in line, and to give a gentle tap on the hand to those who deviate from the truth.