Is the White House Coming Clean?

Imagine the scene: The House Intelligence Committee's confessional. A slightly beleaguered White House senior staffer (name withheld--c'mon this is a confessional--it's private--it's secret).

WH Staffer: Forgive me, representative, for I have not strictly followed the FISA guidelines. It's been five years since my last confession.

House Representative: That's a long time... Please confess your transgressions.

Staffer: Ummm. Well. (Confessor starts to fidget.) Well, it first started out when, um, well Dick was pushing me to find out what the oil countries, er... um...

Rep: Go on.

Staffer: He wanted me to get some more intel on countries that were threatening the United States. At first it sounded innocent and all.

Rep: When did this begin?

Staffer: Oh, this was in the spring of 2001. I remember the cherry trees in bloom. It was all before the changes happened.

Rep: What changes?

Staffer: You know. The changes. I thought that when all this was happening that it was just everyone getting adjusted to being in the White House. The changes were affecting people differently. I just thought I'll just do my job. I listened to Dick. He had grand ideas, but just coming from a large corporation like Halliburton, it seemed right. Even the president came with his ideas. But they needed intel so they could implement their ideas. So, we were to gather it. Our intel didn't support their ideas. So, we were back on the hunt.

Rep: Then what?

Staffer: History changed. Everything changed. That Tuesday in September. I knew something was amiss that day. I knew it before the day began. That whole month was surreal. It was like a whirlwind caught us and everything we saw was blurred in the wind. We did things we would never have done had we really known. There were things we thought were needed at the time that really went beyond all innocent intentions. But we did what we had to do. We had a job to do and we did it.

Rep: Uh huh.

Staffer: Then, there was more and more pressure to get more and more intel. Intel for this. Intel for that. And for all that intel, it seemed we continued to get more and more flack. But we weren't getting any help, either. We said we needed more organization. We didn't get organization. They wanted more, but we couldn't do it that way. At least my conscience wasn't letting me. They worked on making it easier to do, but it didn't pass by the hill. They told us to do it, anyway. There's a lot of stuff that happened between then and now, but I'd hate to bore you with the details.

Rep: Oh, please go on.

Staffer: We just kind of made up our minds to do it, making up our own rules as we went. I admit we might have gone too far. But we were encouraged, because they told us the hill agreed. We thought that we were again in the right, but now I think we might have been wrong.

Rep: It is difficult to confess, I know. I and my fellow representatives thank you for your honest effort of confession. For your penance, say the "Pledge of Allegiance" five times in the next week, and come speak and ask for mercy from the House Intelligence Committee at our House Cleaning Meeting next Wednesday. We'd love to be bored from the details.