Mother's Day Is Every Day

Yesterday was my son's last day at preschool before the summer break. All the emotions some mothers share about great days in their children's lives, well, at first they weren't welling up for me. I'm not really a showy emotional person and it was probably subconsciously trained during my own childhood.

Sure, I was proud of my oldest son's accomplishments and his process of overcoming challenges with Aspergers. He has reached milestones during this year of formal preschool that were such barriers at his child care center. Yes, thinking back to all the parent-teacher-AEA meetings, and all the issues that were preventing my son from being an active and achieving student and all those who worked to make sure he was understood, included and assisted so he could achieve, and my son being able to now do things that seemed frustrating before, I do begin to get all teary-eyed.

Wednesday, the preschoolers came to the front of the church and presented a program after mass. The children lined up sang and many of them fully participating, doing the actions of the songs, and reciting a prayer. There was my son, standing at the end of the back row, swaying, looking around, pulling up his shirt and touching his belly button (nervous trait), doing some actions, not really singing. And I was proud of him.

As the children were called alphabetically by name to receive their certificate of completion, he stood there waiting patiently until his name was called. When they called his name, he walked down just as any other child in his class and received his certificate, and even paused a while as I tried (unsuccessfully as the flash and camera were taking too long to do their thing--apparently I wasn't pushing all the way down on the button, you know, emotions) to get a good snapshot of the moment.

The last day of preschool, the class went to the park for a mini-picnic for the morning. I came to witness his last day with his friends in a fun environment. It was nice to see how the other kids interacted with my son, and how he felt comfortable playing with them. When my son did something odd, some would comment, but from my perspective the comments were never negative or derrogatory. The kids then walked back to the preschool room to finish their day.

I came to pick him up from his last day at preschool at the same door I dropped him off at for the first time. All the preschoolers were outside waiting and it was the first time I saw other kids beside my son hanging around his "favorite tree" just outside the preschool door. His favorite teacher gave him a small, white sack and pointed at me. Then, he gave it to me. A Mother's Day gift. I didn't open it then, because he just doesn't realize that he had already given me a Mother's Day gift of who he is today. Yes, I am very proud of him.

I let my son play with his friends around the tree before we left. After many of them had already gone with their parents, I let him know its time to go and asked him to go and say thank you and goodbye to his teachers. He went over and gave them leg hugs and thanked them. As he came back to me, I saw a girl from his class try to come toward him, arms extended to give him a hug. He didn't see it and he was focused on me. I mentioened to him that she was trying to give him a hug. He turned around, walked toward her, extended his arms, and they shared a long, warm, friendly embrace. This coming from a kid who specialized in no-arm hug-leans before preschool. This was a special moment. I held back my tears, as he came toward me and we hugged, and waved goodbye to his teachers and remaining classmates.

In a society that seems to at least disregard and sometimes highly disrespect anything atypical, for a brief time my son found a group of people who respected him for who he was, and he grew and flourished in their midst.

Every mother's quest is to create a brighter future for their children. It is a quest that goes beyond emotion. Mother's day is every day that we see the twinkle in our child's eye, a stance of positive interest and intrigue in our environment, a look of concern and compassion for others, a smile of sunshine that brightens our day, a glimmer of hope in their soul that the future will bring peace.

"Arise, then, women of this day! Arise all women who have hearts, whether our baptism be that of water or of fears! Say firmly: "We will not have great questions decided byirrelevant agencies. Our husbands shall not come to us, reekingwith carnage, for caresses and applause. Our sons shall not betaken from us to unlearn all that we have been able to teach them of charity, mercy and patience. . .

. . .Let them then solemnly take counsel with each other as to themeans whereby the great human family can live in peace, each bearing after their own time the sacred impress, not of Caesar, but of God." --Julia Ward Howe, from her Mother's Day Proclamation, 1870